Let’s start with…
Why giving a “maybe” instead of a truthful NO to situations, requests, experiences and people who did not feel good, led me to painful situations to show me I was off track from my true essence.
✨✨Not having clear boundaries in every area of our life leads us to pinch ourselves off from being aligned with source. ✨✨
For decades, my human excuse had been “I don’t want to hurt their feelings,” while I was hurting myself deeply every time I gave a hesitant YES or MAYBE when I should have said NO. Since childhood, I had no clarity or awareness about what boundaries look like, feel like, and actually are in my life. Â I didn’t grow up with conscious role models when it came to self-love, boundaries, creative language, conscious communication and meaningful relationships.
In my journey of Self Love, Sexual Alchemy and Self Mastery, several years ago I started to recognize manipulation energies from those who started asking me to do things that were not in alignment with who I am and my life purpose. In this transformational journey of recognizing manipulative energies, I started searching deeply within by asking myself these questions:
What aspects of me were attracting such situations?
Why did I feel manipulated?
What was I doing or saying that was attracting these experiences?
The answer was clear,
* I was saying “MAYBE” instead of NO all the time.
* I was giving energy, time, money, wisdom and/or other resources when it didn’t feel good, while those on the receiving side manipulated stories for me to feel responsible for their life and well-being.
* I would do things to please others because I didn’t believe I was good enough.
* I would believe I didn’t have a way out from being emotionally and physically abused unless I complied with the abuser’s emotional demands.
* And when I started saying NO, I was not clear, confident and secure about my NO because I was fearful people will reject me, abandon me, and replace me ~ so energetically I was sending mixed-up subconscious messages to the universe and tolerating manipulation.
* I put people on pedestals believing they were greater than me, above me, and smarter than me, and in my mind I had to prove myself to them that I had what it takes to be loved, make the money I desired, and live my dreams.
Self-created boundaries must be congruent in all aspects of self to create blissful creations and stronger meaningful relationships. Â I personally have experienced that if one tiny little part of our boundaries is weak, we will attract situations and people to let us see we must strengthen such parts, and many times the experience is not pleasant.
In my personal intimate life, I have experienced emotional, physical, mental and energetic abuse that led me to lose myself for years. If I had learned how to be clear and congruent with my boundaries, to speak the language of creation and conscious communication ~ I would not have experienced any of it, that’s for sure! ✨ But without any of these experiences, I wouldn’t be here to share with you how important it is to have clarity in your life, practical skills, and a conscious map when it comes to boundaries.
✨✨ Imagine your life if you had such clarity with your boundaries and a map to help you align with yourself and your expansive transformation each time you may get off track ✨✨
The area of my life that sparked, reawakened, and activated in me the creation of boundaries has been my business, which is the vehicle of my soul’s vision and mission. Â By being an entrepreneur, I have learned so much about boundaries, which has given me even more tools to help my clients who are awakening to their gifts and embarking on this fascinating journey of conscious and soulful entrepreneurship.
In my business, for a few years I started experiencing and attracting clients who would do things lacking integrity, like not paying for services I rendered, not showing up to scheduled sessions, or not responding to any sort of communication when it was time to pay the next installment of their VIP coaching program. Â After taking responsibility for my part, and accepting I lacked some skills necessary to run a business, I got very clear that I was lacking boundaries in the areas of session time, communication, cancellations, no shows, money/payments, etc. This was one of the most expensive lessons as an entrepreneur.
As an entrepreneur, we have to have clear boundaries in every part of our business and with every person who is a part of it, such as clients, collaborators, employees, partners, etc. Â If we don’t have clarity with what type of boundaries must be in place and how to sustain them, it will cost us money, time and possibly the business itself.
In the past couple of months I have been helping business owners to gain clarity with their personal and business boundaries as part of their self-love journey. Â Lack of boundaries at work affects other areas of our life, such as intimate relationships.
I have seen how many entrepreneurs’ lack of boundaries in their business has cost them the business itself, their reputation, intimate and community relationships, focus, and their passion to continue doing what they love to do. It is fascinating to me that every time a client signs up to work with me to attract a lover, reignite the passion in a relationships, awaken their authentic power, and pursue their life purpose, the common denominator for not manifesting any of it, is the lack of conscious boundaries.
Let’s explore: What are boundaries?
Many people think boundaries are walls we put up to not get hurt. Â No, that isn’t boundaries. We don’t create boundaries from a place of fear, shame, guilt, rejection, projections, or approval. Â We create boundaries from a place of self-love, remembering who we truly are, and embodiment of our true desires.
In my experience, boundaries are skills to create powerful, conscious, divine, sacred, peaceful, liberating, harmonious, safe, delicious and alive containers for our holistic self, lives, desires, manifestations, and creations.
BOUNDARIES are golden keys to attract love, abundance, happiness, health, and create powerful experiences.
Boundaries are created in all realms, realities, and dimensions.
We can start recognizing boundaries by:
* Feeling into our bodies,
* Being fully present living the now,
* Discerning what feels delicious and liberating; knowing what feels good. Â
Experiencing the contrast of what we don’t desire serves us to recognize what we do desire. Â If something feels sour and stagnant, it is a sign we must explore what is happening internally and cure the lack of boundaries and whatever else is needed.
Boundaries sustain and maintain the power of our creations. Â Without conscious boundaries, our creations won’t last and will perish. So what can you do to start creating conscious, healthy boundaries in your life?
I will share with you a simple 7-step exercise I share with my clients.
1. On a piece of paper, brainstorm all the categories of your life, i.e Health, Intimate Relationships, Family, Work/Business, Business Relationships, Money, etc.
2. Write down one or two painful experiences for each category where you learned so much about yourself and others ~ this is the contrast. You become aware of what you don’t desire in this area of your life, in order to better know what you truly desire.
3. For each experience, ask the following question: What boundaries were not present that led me to this experience of contrast? Â If you don’t know, close your eyes, feel it in your body, and ask the question again.
4. Now write down all the boundaries that you are becoming aware of.
5. By the end of this exercise, each category will have the golden nuggets; what you have learned from the painful experiences, and the boundaries those experiences meant to teach you. Â Circle or write down these golden nuggets.
6. Look at all your boundaries and you will realize that many of these boundaries can be located and applied in other categories. Notice which kinds of boundaries appear across multiple categories.
7.Transfer your boundaries to the “Golden Boundaries Guideline” pdf, which you can download here.
Now you have your own Golden Boundaries Guideline that you can review all the time and keep yourself aware of when a situation arises and boundaries must be in place.
✨One of the powerful key ingredients to creating the life we desire is CLARITY about who we are, our desires, our gifts, our skills and our boundaries.✨
If you are interested to dive deeper into how to create powerful boundaries which help you to create conscious relationships, abundance, and wellness in your life, we are opening enrollment for our 12-Week Self-Love Masterclass starting on July 17th, 2017. Â In this Self-Love Masterclass, I will share with you in depth the power of the 15 principles of self-love, practical self-love rituals, the creative golden language, conscious communication, self boundaries, and guide you through manifesting your creative desires.
The power of this masterclass is your access to ten 60-minute one-on-one coaching sessions with me, weekly videos addressing a specific topic, and email support. Because we desire for you to experience personal support and meet you where you are in your life and your own desires, we have designed this program with one-on-one coaching calls. Â We feel you will receive a more personalized and powerful experience with one-on-one calls rather than group coaching calls. Â We only have 15 spots available. Usually a program like this would cost $3,000; Â Sign up before July 17th for $1,000, once we start the price will go up to $1,500.
If you desire to join our Self-Love Masterclass, book a complimentary discovery session to learn more and discover if it is right for you. Â
Trauma-Informed Intimacy Expert helping clients gain clarity, confidence, and passion in their relationships.
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