How to address triggers and their relationship with boundaries.

”I am being triggered.”

”I feel triggered.”

”I got triggered.”

Triggers are a part of our human life experience and evolution, and the reality of that is that we may be experiencing triggers multiple times a day, and it is ok!

We are not meant to be perfect; perfection is an illusion. Expecting never to experience a trigger and be cool 24/7/365 is another illusion we cannot subscribe to.

One of the skills some have mastered is the ability to numb their triggers without understanding the message it carries. (The same way others have mastered numbing their emotions and closed their heart not to experience pain.) We tend to numb triggers or emotions with food, drugs, psychedelics, alcohol, and other harmful techniques that stop us from feeling.

Triggers are messengers – they are the voice of our subconscious and the many parts of self. Triggers invite us to go deeper within ourselves to understand, accept, and love ourselves deeply.

Dictionary Definition for “Trigger:”


– An event or circumstance that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation.


– (of an event or situation) cause (someone) to do something.

– (especially of something read, seen, or heard) distress (someone), typically as a result of arousing feelings or memories associated with a particular traumatic experience.

In psychology:

– A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma. People typically use this term when describing post-traumatic stress (PTSD).

Underneath a trigger, there is a cause. Ignoring the cause of a trigger can lead us to overreact in ways that can be hurtful and unsafe for self and others. Understanding the trigger’s cause allows us to be prepared and decrease reactivity.

In my journey of exploring my triggers, some of which comes from childhood trauma, I have developed a process that allows me to go deeper into the cause and navigate them with ease. I am not going to lie: it does take time, commitment, and consistency.

In my program, From Triggers to Bliss, which is part of The Boundaries Embodiment Experience online program, I share this process.

For this post, I will share some of the questions we ask ourselves when we experience a trigger:

  • Is this a ”lack of boundary” experience? If, yes
  • Based on my core values, what boundary I am not aware of?
  • Has this boundary been communicated?
  • Does this boundary have proper consequences? Reward/Punishment
  • Is this the first time this trigger shows up because the boundary has been violated?
  • Or, is it not the first time it has been violated?

When we experience triggers, it is essential to look at the message and go deeper.

Only conscious awareness will allow us to navigate our triggers more harmoniously and healthily.

I used to blow up when I got triggered. Now, when I feel triggered, I have better ways of managing it, and I am more in control of my response. This process has allowed me to decrease pain in my intimate relationships and amplify more joy, bliss, and love into my life.

If you are curious about how to create conscious relationships and master the skill of setting boundaries, I invite you to check out my online program The Boundaries Embodiment Experience (B.E.E) – an eight-week online group coaching program.


If you would like to explore how we can help you go FROM feeling powerless and stuck TO powerful and confident, Click here to access your complementary Awakening Discovery Call to explore what is going on in your life, relationship, and/or intimacy that is holding you back from living the life you desire. After gaining clarity and insights, if you are interested to learn more about how I can help you, I will be glad to answer any questions regarding any of my one on one sessions, programs, immersions and retreats that may be a fit for you.