Dancing with my Shadows and Archetypes Part 1 – A gift from Cancer

At 16 years old I healed cancer,
No chemo, no radiation, no second surgeries, no western choices.
My cancer was the result of over a decade of toxic emotions, suicidal thoughts, rejection of this body, rejection of this life, rejection of my soul calling, and punishment of self.
Cancer was my gift,
A divine gift of awakening.
Awakening to a second chance,
Awakening to a greater purpose,
Awakening to a joyful me,
Awakening to a powerful me,
Awakening to ME.
At 16 years old my medicine was clean homeopathic and macrobiotic food – I have to admit that food was not fun and very bland. I also used a black bitter homeopathic poison – poison for the cancer which meant more life for me.
When I was 16, my divine and angelic doctor,
A doctor who embodies the great healer in all of us, helped my body to heal and introduced me to the art of emotional healing.

At 16 years old, I walked into the Gnostic realms to dive deeper into the esoteric and mystical realms – realms I have been so familiar with since birth because I’ve always been surrounded shamans, witches, psychics, mediums and gnostic teachers hidden under the mask of regular Catholic high school teachers.
I remember our gnostic teacher’s disclaimer during our first class, which became the initiation to unlock the door to deeper realms that many of us are afraid of – our darkness, shadows and hidden archetypes.
With these words: “You have entered into the Gnostic realms, now there is no way back – you will be equipped with knowledge to transform your life or destroy it by ignoring it,” I knew I had said yes to something that would help me discover and find the real ME.
I am glad I did say YES and diligently attended classes every Saturday for 10 hours, plus multiple retreats and gatherings for over two years.
At a young age I was deeply exploring teachings that would unlock many parts of me.
I became a young student of advanced levels before moving to the USA – the place where I have been destined to do my work and live my purpose.

When you tap into sacred knowledge,
you cannot go back to being ignorant of your own soul,
You cannot go back to being unconscious of your power and existence,
You cannot go back and have excuses to not do your inner work.

Gnosis led me to explore my Shadows, Archetypes and Mind through self-observation as the key to it all.
I remember my teacher’s first lesson was about the diligence to observe self at any moment of the day and to journal at night how was our day, what happened, in what emotional and mental state we were in when certain events happened.
I learned to observe my emotions, thoughts, feelings, triggers, actions, responses, energies and even my stillness in this fast-paced world.
This in-depth self-observation practice led me to dive deeper into my shadow and inner aspects even before I entered the world of healing as a profession. It is a practice that I cannot run away from even if I wanted to, it is in autopilot.

For the past 22 years, I have practiced the art of self-observation at a depth that can sometimes be scary, especially when self-observation involves the darkest of my shadows.
Those parts of self that we are so damn afraid of,
Afraid of them and what they mean to us,
Afraid of what they are capable of,
Afraid of the Assassin, the Thief, the Dictator, the Liar, the Vampire, the Bloody Lover, the extreme sadist and masochist, and others.
Afraid that they can be even more powerful than self.
Yes, it is scary to see those parts of self and accept they are a part of us and a part of our collective.
Shaming and judging others “darkness” is a reflection of the rejection and unwelcoming of our own shadows.

I never knew how powerful the art of self-observation would be.
It takes courage to see what many times we want to avoid and ignore about ourselves.
It has opened doors into my own soul,
All parts of me,
All realms of me,
All dimensions of me,
All polarities of me,
With the ability to see even more profoundly other people’s souls.

This art of self-observation led me to understand the “why” of my cancer,
The purpose of my cancer,
The gift of my cancer.
Cancer opened the door to meet ME,
To know ME,
To love ME,
To accept ME,
To understand ME.

Many times illnesses are the last resources we have to open the doors to know THYSELF.
But now, we live in an age of time where we can choose to be free from illness if we choose to know SELF deeply and create harmony within self, because at the end of the day “illness” or “dis-ease” is a lack of “ease” within all parts of self.

So today, How can you be even more in ease with all parts of you?

I invite you to explore the art of self-observation, observing all of you, even those parts that are scary and dark.

Lucia Gabriela