Validation ~ Shadow Work, a work in progress…

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Looking deep inside my heart, I am shivering for acceptance.
Awaiting to hear from you, I am craving for words of confirmation.
I have doubted myself so much in the past, I ask you for validation.

With ease, I want to hear the answer to my unknown.
With certainty, I want to know the unpredictable.
With confidence, I want to feel my power.

Where am I?
Who am I?
Why am I here?

Oh… It looks all confusing!

I am paralyzed from my own truth,
Here I am… Awaiting for you to tell me what I should know.
Here I am… Awaiting your validation of my existence since I have no clue of it myself.
Here I am… Surrendering to your definitions, since I don’t know self and not sure what self is all about.

What is going on here… While grasping my head and swinging it left to right, right to left.
What is going on here… Left hand on my heart, right hand on my womb.

The world is swirling, collapsing in front of my eyes… It is all confusing.

All I want to know is:

DO YOU LIKE ME?
DO YOU LOVE ME?
DO YOU WANT ME?
DO YOU ACCEPT ME?

Please, oh please… Set me free!

Tears go down my cheeks, oh Goddess please set me free!

Goddess emerge from the darkness,
Queen of the Shadow has emerged to mirror my blind spots.

Oh Goddess,
I am afraid to see what I have known as truth, what I have rejected, ignored and hidden from SELF.

She lets me see that for millenniums, I have begged humans for validation of SELF.
I have depended on their definitions to define my unique truth ~ a Goddess truth.

I have done.. (Sighs)
What have I not done for them to like me!

I have played nice,
I have been a pretty girl,
I have kept my mouth shout,
I have kept my thoughts to myself,
I have kept my naughtiness hidden,
I have buried my ugliness,
I have burned my vulnerability,
I have opened and closed my legs when I was told to do so,
I have been gentle to not provoke others and trigger their insecurities.

For what… To fit into this “pretty lady like definition of SELF” ~~~~

What a joke… My heart is feeling light~~~~

Full moon rituals…. I obey, I listen, I surrender…
They want me back,
They want me alive,
They want me… They want me!

Who wants me?

All aspects of me, all aspects of you.
I am you, You are me.

Shadow work ~~~ Validation ~~~~

Do you like me?
Do you want me?
Do you….

I have tried it all for you to like me and accept me…
It’s not going to work anymore…
I am over it!

They are showing me how complete I am,
I show myself how complete I am,
I don’t need validation,
I am validation of self..

I will stop begging for your attention and wanting,
I will start living and being me…

The truest me,
The seductive me,
The precious me,
The orgasmic me,
The joyful me,
The sensual me,
The light me,
The shadow me,
The dark me,
The ugly me,
The loving me,
The one who sees beyond self…

I am you, you are me.

 

Copyright 2016 Lucia Gabriela