We surrender from a place of fear,
We call ourselves “crazy” to excuse what has happened,
We pretend it’s not happening,
We let him take it… and at the end, we have lost love and respect for our own body ~ we don’t care anymore.
“Take me, do whatever you want with my body ~ you will never get my soul” ~ how many times have we said that?
After the fact, the first few times we cry out crawling inside the bed sheets like little girls in fear ~ after a while, we have built strong armor to not feel the pain anymore.
We disconnect from our bodies,
We isolate from our sensuality ~ “Why should I look sensual and attractive for my raper?”
We feel disgusted,
Our body feels disgusted,
Our vaginas feel ashamed, so we numb them out to not feel pain anymore. With our orgasms I do the same.
Our voice shuts down in sorrow, but the next day we want to scream and curse at anything. We become bitter, angry and rebellious ~ if we could just find our voice… but we freeze, to fit into marriage society and pretend one more time “everything is ok.”
The fear to speak up and scream out this pain will get our spouses in trouble ~ possibly jail, so we stay quiet again.
It gets worse when we have kids.
We get quieter for their sake, forgetting our own.
We sacrifice for their wellbeing, dismissing our own.
“How dare I say something and put my kids at risk of losing their father for this?”
A fear many of us mothers have, we get quieter and quieter… forgetting it, numbing it, and putting up walls and armor of steel to not feel the pain again.
As a result we become tight, senseless, and cold as steel.
It gets worse when money is involved and we are codependent to survive.
Fuck! There is no way out…
We feel alone,
We feel broken,
We feel lost,
We feel…. at some point, we stop feeling.
If you want to start feeling again, dearmor from all this pain ~ Join us in a journey to free ourselves from emotional and sexual traumas.
The Sexual Alchemy Circle is our sacred space to reclaim our creative power, sensuality, Sexuality, voice and our body. Click Here to learn more.
Marital rape (also known as spousal rape and rape in marriage) is non-consensual sex (i.e., rape) in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse. It is a form of partner rape, domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Once widely unrecognized by law and society as a crime or wrongdoing, marital rape is now opposed by many societies around the world, repudiated by international conventions, and increasingly criminalized. The issues of sexual and domestic violence within marriage and the family unit, and more generally, the issue of violence against women, have come to growing international attention from the second half of the 20th century. Still, in many countries, marital rape either remains outside the criminal law, or is illegal but widely tolerated. Laws are rarely being enforced, due to factors ranging from reluctance of authorities to pursue the crime, to lack of public knowledge that forced sexual intercourse in marriage is illegal.
Marital rape is more widely experienced by women, though not exclusively. Despite the popular understanding that marital rape is a one-time occurrence, it is often a chronic form of violence for the victim which takes place within abusive relations. It exists in a complex web of state governments, cultural practices, and societal ideologies which combine to influence each distinct instance and situation in varying ways. The reluctance to criminalize and prosecute marital rape has been attributed to traditional views of marriage, interpretations of religious doctrines, ideas about male and female sexuality, and to cultural expectations of subordination of a wife to her husband—views which continue to be common in many parts of the world. These views of marriage and sexuality started to be challenged in most Western countries from the 1960s and 70s especially by second-wave feminism, leading to an acknowledgment of the woman’s right to self-determination (i.e., control) of all matters relating to her body, and the withdrawal of the exemption or defense of marital rape.
Copyright 2016 Lucia Gabriela.