I woke up one morning,
A morning of questions with no answers,
A morning where my heart felt alone,
A rising day where my body felt empty,
A shiny day where my mind was busy.
I cannot feel the love,
I cannot feel the passion,
I cannot feel the fire that once birthed all my dreams, desires, and passions.
I want to feel me (self), my infinity and my possibilities,
I want to taste my elixir of life, love, and wealth,
I want to feel my lover holding me in bliss and strength,
I desire passionate, wild and luscious love making.
I desire to live in harmony, wealth, and peace in all realms…
I want, desire, and envision… (sighs)
Why is it not happening?
Why am I missing my lover?
Why am I not attracting wealth into my life?
Why can’t I feel my fire?
I am exhausted to look for the answers,
I am exhausted to try so hard to make things happen.
Oh Greatness,
Please show me the way…
Please show me the light…
I cannot do this any more,
I cannot do it alone any longer.
Dancing under the rising sun,
I surrender to its power,
I close my eyes and touch my body gently to feel it again,
I touch, touch and touch every single part of me,
Feeling my heartbeat, my inhalation, my exhalation, my thoughts, my emotions and my desire to search for the answer or the question that can give me the clues of this painful disconnection, separation, and isolation.
Here I am; crossing the physical realms,
I enter a sacred space I have not been back to for a long time,
The Temple of my Soul, where an amazing and beautiful Goddess welcomes me,
Next to her this powerful and magnificent God embraces me,
In tears I ask for help,
In pain I ask for understanding,
In tears I ask for wisdom,
In hope I surrender to their infinite wisdom and love.
Sitting under the luxurious canopy’s temple,
Adorned with roses and gemstones such as rubies, emeralds, and diamonds,
Draped with red silk tunics,
Candle light, water fountains and delicious aromas seducing the air,
Both hold me in grace,
Both make me feel their love,
Both hold space for my heart to be felt,
Both create infinity where time stops from beating the drum.
I feel…
I feel…
I feel again…
“Why?” I asked both of them…
As they know what I am truly referring to,
they look at my eyes with their beautiful hazel eyes and my wholeness feels its presence again.
No words to describe what arises from within,
I feel…
I feel…
I feel again…
With a tender voice she asks:
“What are you afraid to commit to?”
Silently, I repeat the question inside myself 3 times…
What am I afraid to commit to?
What am I afraid to commit to?
What am I afraid to commit to?
One question, one question is all it takes.
This question strokes my heart with a rush of energy, my body with chills and trembling, my mind with memories and my soul feeling liberation.
I knew the answer wanted to emerge,
Afraid of commitment…
I am feeling,
I am seeing,
I am sensing,
I am here… no way back,
There is no return exit.
I have to face this, it’s time!
Even if it feels like hell, I have to do it.
Many seasons in my life, I have been afraid to commit to different opportunities, lovers, projects, wealth and my own health.
I have been afraid to commit to what truly feels exciting to me, to what makes me thrive and fires me up.
I have been afraid to commit to relationships that enhance and contribute to my experience on earth,
I have been afraid to commit to my own health, wealth and abundance.
I have been afraid to be me,
I have been afraid to experience who I am,
I have been afraid to unleash myself and commit to all aspects of me.
I have always felt this journey is hard work, painful and…
What if I fail?
What if I cannot do it?
What if I am not ready?
What if I don’t have what it takes?
What if I don’t know how to solve whatever comes my way?
What if I don’t have time?
What if I cannot keep up?
What if people reject me?
What if they don’t understand me?
What if my own parents don’t accept me?
What if my lovers don’t want me?
What if I become not likeable?
What if…
With a gentle touch he reaches out to my shoulder, looks at me in the eyes gazing into my soul and with a sublime smile he speaks:
“Stop, divine sister….
Your fears are fears we all go through,
The fears we will fail ourselves,
The fears we will not follow through with our desires and passions,
The fears we will fail to our higher power,
The fears to face disappointment and collective rejection,
But these fears are a sign you are getting out of your comfort zone: growing, evolving and transforming.
These fears are butterflies of excitement to let you know your are on your path to rediscover more of you and your infinity.
These fears are bitter medicine to your soul,
They let you see what is possible if you don’t follow your heart and inner fire ~ your creative power.
These fears are with you to make your experience on earth a little more spicy and a lot more interesting.
Silence fills the room.
With a smile he holds me tight in his arms for infinity to track it’s time.
I feel so safe,
I feel so at peace,
I feel so relaxed,
I feel so in my body,
I feel…
I feel again.
I felt for the first time free from fears,
Free to commit to all of me,
Free to follow through with my dreams,
Free to explore the juiciness of life as a delicious adventure where the unknown is welcome,
Free to create throughout the unknown,
Free to be in a committed relationship with a lover,
Free to BE…
Breathing sensual bliss,
My skin dances with the wind,
My fingers and toes play with the water from the temple’s fountain.
Still feeling the freedom and peace in my heart, knowing fear of commitment is part of me, and it will arise when I am disconnected from my body, my heart, and my higher power.
To remind me to get back into my fullness ~ into my wholeness.
Smelling the roses,
Feeling the silky tunic adorned with golden threads and precious gems covering my skin,
Gently my hair is blown away by an exotic bliss,
I am sensually present in my fullness to
Commit to myself.
“Are you ready?” She asks
“Yes, I am”
“Are you ready!?” He asks
“Yes, I am”
I am ready to commit to myself,
I am ready to commit to my body,
I am ready to commit to my heart,
I am ready to commit to my soul,
I am ready to commit to my health,
I am ready to commit to my wealth,
I am ready to commit to my power,
I am ready to commit to my influence,
I am ready to commit to my impact,
I am ready to commit to my sensuality,
I am ready to commit to my sexuality,
I am ready to commit to Orgasmic Source,
I am… I am.
Silence fills the room,
The vows have been spoken,
The commitment has been expressed,
The witnesses have honored what has been shared,
Peace fills my heart,
Bliss fills my body,
I have committed to self, all of me to all of me and to the unknown of my delicious and Orgasmic journey.
Feeling in ecstasy,
I cross back to the physical realms,
Feeling in joy,
I am committed to me more than ever before.
Bringing with me a precious necklace made of rubies to remind me that whenever fears shows up in my life again…
All I have to do is to feel the fear, embrace it and get back to my body, my heart, and soul with gratitude and joy.
~~~~~~
If you have ever been afraid of commitment and/or attracted people into your life who are afraid to commit in any relationship ~ there may be some self-commitment fears you may want to address and heal to be able to manifest the relationships you truly desire. If self-commitment is being avoided you will keep attracting non committed lovers, partners, clients, projects, business deals and even money ~ your time to get this handled is now.
If you feel ready to commit to yourself to manifest the life you truly desire CLICK HERE to BOOK a complimentary Love Breakthrough Strategy Call to gain clarity on what you want in your life and how I can help you.
